Not to the pain meds. They are wonderful and helpful, but I thank God that I am able to take them only when needed.
No, I'm addicted to something much more insidious. Something that
has me stooping to lows I never thought I'd see. Like most addictions,
it started off benign enough. You see, I'm addicted to (deep breath)
Oh, sit there and smirk if you must. I'll bet I'm not the only one
who has raided the fridge at midnight, scarfing down shards of $10/lb.
parmesean. And if that were the end of it, that would be okay. But it
isn't. I have developed such a taste for cheese that we can't keep the
good stuff. Gone. All gone. Those men I live with seem to think they
should have some on their sandwiches. Don't they know I have a serious
Like all addicts, I started with the good stuff. And only
occasionally. I thought I'd hit rock bottom when I came to standing in
the kitchen eating processed cheese slices, not even bothering to make
sure the plastic wrapper hit the trash can. Then a new low, CANNED
cheese...cracker strictly optional.
I'm at rock bottom now, though. And it's all the Mennonites' fault.
Oh sure, you can get good stuff there at great prices. But the traps are
set. For the past 5 visits I'd eyed the bag. A small cellophane bag
filled with powdered cheese - you know the bright orange stuff that you
get off Cheetos, or in the Kraft box? Yeah, that. Two visits ago, I
bought it. It was only a dollar or so, but I picture Reuben saying, "Ya,
papa. She bought the cheese. Go ahead and raise the price a little each
Now, I have always bought Cheetos just for that orange, cheesy,
salty goodness. In fact, I have been known to just lick it off the
Cheetos. Gross, huh. Well, now I don't do that any more. Even I knew to
treat this new drug with caution. I started off small - sprinkled on
popcorn was good. Mixed in sour cream as a dip. But the other night, I
couldn't take it any longer. I didn't want anything to eat, been losing
weight. But I just wanted something to taste good. I did it. I took a
tiny pinch out of the bag and deposited it straight.onto.the.tongue.
What have I done? Is there a 12-step program for me???