April 15 Looms: Time for Another Tea Party in Boston?
By John Lillpop Thursday, April 10, 2008
Satire
A Letter to the IRS…
April 9, 2008
IRS
Washington, D.C.
CC: President Bush,
All Democrats, and RINOs
Dear Ladies, Gentlemen and the Undecided:
NOT enclosed herewith are fully-executed documents concerning my 2007 income and taxes, including 50 assorted pieces of meaningless paper normally generated only for the purpose of providing work for civil service types lacking sufficient intelligence and drive to secure gainful employment in the real world.
In calculating my tax obligations, I subtracted my “fair share” of money spent by the U.S. government where my interests as an American citizen were not represented, or were actually subverted.
As any pre-1960 textbook will tell you, “taxation without representation” is not cool.
But, back to my return.
Deductions were made for the following failings by the federal government:
-Borders not secured;
-Existing immigration laws not enforced;
-Homeland security measures not fully implemented;
-Taxpayer dollars used to provide public services to illegal aliens;
-Illegal aliens allowed to evade income taxes;
-Ballots and other public documents printed in foreign languages;
-Salaries and benefits paid to president Bush and the U.S. Congress while “working” on immigration reform.
Taking into account my fair share of services not received, the U.S. government owes me about $15,000,000 for 2007.
Because I am politically conservative, I do not wish to add to the national debt just to rectify the wrong done me by the U.S. government.
Accordingly, I hereby recommend that IRS and ICE team up in a joint effort to collect taxes, current and past, from the largest block of tax evaders known to human kind: 38 million illegal aliens now squatting tax-free in America.
At the risk of being presumptuous, let me offer another suggestion: The greatest opportunity to confront these tax evaders would be at large public gatherings.
May 5 is rumored to be a “holiday” in the illegal alien community, to be celebrated with massive rallies and marches in cities all across America.
What a perfect opportunity for IRS and ICE to help retire the national debt, and reverse illegal immigration all at once by confronting millions of illegals clogging American streets on Cinco de Mayo Day!
How will you know the offending criminals? They will be the wackos flying Mexican flags with “Sí se puede!” or some other idiotic Spanish gibberish tattooed on their foreheads.
By the way, please note that I am filing early---law and order still means something in my house, if not in the White House or the U.S. Congress!
Sincerely,
John W. Lillpop
Overtaxed and Underloved
Disclaimer: I'm all for immigration. LEGAL immigration.
Last evening I watched as a woman - most very likely illegal - get into a shouting match with the clerk at the convenience store. She was trying to buy alcohol and cigarettes using her sister's ID. But it was okay, she said, the stuff was for her sister. (That smacking sound you hear is me smacking my forehead in frustration.)
Around here, the clerk told me later, to accommodate her would have gotten him a $5000 fine and the loss of his job. It started out quietly enough with him informing her of that. But she argued and argued until finally he told her to leave the store and not come back. She kept screaming that she would "call you boss man! It he store, and he fire you!" Of course, we all knew better. She finally left - but not until after hurling the absolute worst of gutter language at him. At top volume. I was glad the kiddo was waiting for me, locked in the van. (Yes, he's old enough to do that, lol.)
As the clerk and I talked, it occurred to me that she just couldn't understand his not backing down on breaking the law. After all she had (so very likely) broken the law to even come to this country, so there was a total lack of fear for retribution. Like a child who is allowed to get away with stealing cookies and change from mom's purse then moves on to shoplifting, she was shocked when someone actually had the gall to call her on it.
I don't like this road our country is on. I want my country back. I would love to trust the public schools. I'd love to work fewer than 5 months just to pay taxes. I'd love for my taxes to NOT go to Planned Parenthood and other organizations that don't in any way represent me.
Sometimes these attitudes don't feel very Christian. As though because we're Christians we should just allow folks to do whatever and try to convert them when we can. But I recently learned that that kind of attitude actually allows others to sin. Enables them if you will. And there's a certain scripture about a millstone that says if we enable or lead folks to sin, we'd be better off dead. Of course, hateful attitudes and violence aren't the answer either. So a happy medium must be found.
Oh by the way, we're Cherokee. And Irish. I carry a portable soapbox with me at all times! LOL Thanks for hanging in there.
